I’ve had a pretty ridiculous summer. Not in a wet and wild, I got blackout drunk in Cancun and scored with a million chicks kinda ridiculous though. More like I’ve had to deal with massive amounts of bullshit but I’m still here and I keep climbing up that tiny little end of my rope kinda ridiculous. That might sound “negative” I realize but it has been a difficult summer and I’m glad that fall is here.

A lot is changing in my life and most of it seems like its for the best. You never really know what you’re getting in this new century though the way I see it, and I think of this new millenium kinda like this game called Samorost 3. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it but basically, there’s a lot of little things you can do and click on in the game and you never quite know what you’re accomplishing no matter what you do.

I mean, we like to think of life as this linear progression of events with a beginning a middle and an end but when you’re really living it, it’s never quite so cut and dried. You might think of that as opening up a lot of excuses, which it does, like “I had no idea my relationship with that stripper would turn out so badly, that’s life,” or “Buying a used car from a guy on craigslist with an eyepatch and not getting it checked out beforehand seemed like such a good idea at the time” and so forth. But truthfully, we do the best we can with the information we have available to us at the moment (for the most part). I know I do.

I met with a career advisor today. I’ve met with him in the past but today was a day for “catching up.” I mentioned something about fitness which seemed to resonate deeply with him and he practically implored me to write something about it.

To give you some background, I was very into exercise, going to the gym, and staying in shape for the last 3 to 4 years. I mean I still am but the way I think fundamentally about fitness has changed a lot since I started this fitness journey of mine. Initially, I really wanted to change my appearance. I wanted to be physically imposing more than anything. I wanted to exude that “don’t mess with me or you’ll be sorry” vibe as I walked down the street. But it seemed like the harder I worked at being and looking tough, the more opposition I got from the outside world. I felt more threatened rather than less. The world can be a very antagonistic place when you are intentional about getting the better of it. It seems to me, if you keep your intentions to yourself, people tend to leave you alone. But then how do you go about pursuing your intentions??? Whatever.

My point was, when talking about this with my career advisor earlier, that doing something for the wrong reasons, more often than not, will benefit you in the short term but hurt you in the long run. I’m pretty sure I was into fitness for the wrong reasons. And I realized this and I halted the pursuit of my goals until I could figure out what the right reasons were.

Who knows though? I mean, maybe I would have been fine just continuing along the way things were, working out and getting jacked just because I wanted to intimidate people. Like I said, you never know what you’re getting in this new century.

Ultimately, I think I will be better off when I really get my feet under me and figure out what’s so great about working out, why I love it, and what part of the fitness world I want to be a part of. It’s a big place. And being physically fit isn’t the same thing as being well. I think at least some degree of wellness must be present if true physical fitness is to be obtained.